From nine registered participants, five showed up for the two-hour practice evening. Petra Porath, trainer of the NVC Association, mediator BM®, had invited to celebrate Marshall's 88th birthday and to honor his life's work with the request to bring something to the meeting that inspires one on the NVC path: a poem, a quotation, an encounter or experience description, an object, etc.
After a round of arrivals, sensitivities and introductions, and the clarification of organizational matters, the last technical hurdles were overcome so that everyone could be present with sound and vision, was pleasantly warm, and was provided with a drink and writing materials.

 

Recalling the career of Marshall and his motivation was celebrated: Two wooden giraffes looked in or fidgeted in front of the cameras. The guitar playing and singing of Marshall was listened to: ♪♪ "See me beautiful". Personal experiences with trainers, in the family circle, with Marshall himself, were shared. Memory, meaningfulness and a creative approach to what is, were especially the needs fulfilled here.

 

An excerpt from "From now on" has set a framework for being together. "From now on, I choose to believe that the failure to meet our needs is rooted in insufficient dialogue and lack of creativity, not lack at all." Marshall Rosenberg (Beilage in der Empathischen Zeit Ausgabe 3/2022)

 

The exercise evening also offered room for topic requests. Dealing with accusations without justifying or defending oneself engaged those present with the questions: How did I react to a recently heard accusation? How would I have wished to respond? What would I have needed to respond appropriately? "Never do I reach you!" was one of those accusations, and what each considered helpful in responding in a way that was coherent for one was gathered. Once again, the wisdom of the group proved itself with the diversity of ideas: rather say nothing than go into counterattack, take a deep breath, time out, self-empathy, show yourself with feeling and need, postpone the conversation or pick up the other person empathically. Taking accusations personally in any case helps immensely, one participant noted.

After a break there was a vote among the remaining participants with which term they would like to devote themselves in the dyad in pairs (four times 3 minutes (i.e. each is alternately twice in the listener and twice in the speaker role). The choices were Sinn, Kreativität und SpiritualitätAs lively as life is, feelings and opinions change quickly. Two participants managed to come to an agreement in the dialogue with the four steps in such a way that a solution was reached and two each dedicated themselves to the topic of "meaning" and two to the need for "creativity".

Two minutes of silence in the whole group with the awareness of the physical sensation and the flow of breath deepened the experiences from the dyad. From this presentness, it was finally shared how it is currently going, what each takes away or would still have needed. Calmness, inspiration, strength, centering, contentment and much more enriched the participants and makes them want to develop further and keep at it, because: From now on...

Petra Porath, 7.10.22